This is the last semester of my sophomore year, many of my courses are mentioning about setting our future goal, and some professors invite the students who are already graduated many years ago and working abroad right now to share their experiences with us.

I started to become anxious about this question since they are so successful and found the job they really enjoying doing.

Although I know roughly what I want to do after graduation, I am still confused and uncertain about whether this is the thing I want to do for my lifetime. So unconsciously I kind of avoid myself from thinking about this question.

Also, I discovered that I am not as enthusiastic as I was in my freshman year. I feel like I don't care about my grades and studying hard anymore but only finish my assignments.

Even though I quit one of my part-time jobs, and tutoring is the remaining part-time job for only once a week, I am still busy every day.

I spent far more time playing basketball and hanging out with my friends, and most of the time I was just spending my time doing nothing or doing something unimportant.

I always tell myself that it is fine to have fun in my first two years of college, but I need to pull myself together and start to study hard as soon as I enter my junior year.

However, I don’t know if I can really do it. I think the lack of enthusiasm is my biggest problem. Recently I kept thinking about what is the meaning of life or what is the life I want to live. I was always told by adults that I have to study hard in order to find a well-paid job. It seems to them that live the life without worrying about money is their definition of success.

But I don’t know whether the answer is sufficient enough for me. And I haven’t found my answer yet...